Writing has always been a favorite pastime of mine. As a kid, I kept a diary that was filled with stories of play dates, crushes, and personal reflections from my 5th grade sex education class. I’ve always been a very inquisitive person, to the point where I dared my friend Nicole to write, “Does a pussy hurt when a cock goes in it the first time?” on an anonymous question slip and submit it to the teacher. But when our reckless giggling gave us away, and we were no longer allowed to participate in class discussions, I started writing everything down in my notebook to have for myself.
As I got older and entered middle school, and eventually high school and college, the submissions in my notebooks quickly faded as I was too busy writing essays. Most students in my classes hated those assignments, but I always preferred them over presentations and quizzes. Basically, I LOVE writing, and am thrilled that it turned into a career. I’ve worked at nation-wide publications like HollywoodLife.com and Star and OK! Magazines. These days I’m working full-time at a marketing agency in Portland, Oregon.
On a slow Thursday afternoon it suddenly hit me that the only thing I’d rather be doing is sharing funny stories, posting pictures of my winter wardrobe, and just being creative. Blogging for me is the perfect creative outlet as well as an updated, modern version of keeping a diary. I realize there are so many blogs out there, so why read this one? Well, I hope to be one voice (not the voice) of a community of women who are just tired of everyone’s shit. We’re SO over office dress codes, tattoo stigmas, running to the closest Starbucks every time we need to shit, eating salads, hearing about your Euro trip, and making New Year’s Eve plans.
The title Ride Coattails comes from a song by the same name. People who ride coattails are portrayed as lazy, undetermined, and lacking in talent. But I don’t see it that way. Instead, they are creative, self-aware, and independent because they’ve found out what works best for them, even if it’s unconventional. This blog is inspired by everyday people who aren’t ashamed or embarrassed by their choices, and don’t give a shit about impressing others along the way.
I’ll break the ice first with the most self-deprecating story I can think of in this moment. One time, I went out in public wearing a black T-shirt with my boyfriend’s jizz on it. Or maybe it was toothpaste? Either way, sometimes a towel is just too far. I mindlessly grabbed the shirt from our laundry pile before taking the dogs out. When I got back, David literally sat me down and lectured me about hygiene, but I just thought it was hilarious. Who the fuck cares? Who am I trying to impress while waiting for the dogs to take their morning dump? It’s not like I wore it to an art gala. Fucking chill.
I hope you’ll love Ride Coattails because it’s brutally honest, personal, and raw. I love making people laugh, especially if it’s at my own expense. If I fall down the stairs, fucking LAUGH. It’s funny. Life is not that serious. Whatever the subject may be, I want people to read Ride Coattails and think, this is the kind of girl I want to hang out at the bar with. I promise to leave the jizz shirt at home.
This blog is dedicated to the girls (and guys) who:
- Work smarter, not harder
- Wear sweatpants all day long
- Burn toast but eat it anyway
- Skip the small talk
And, most importantly, are wholeheartedly and completely shameless.